Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Is it really up to us?

Modern medicine is quite astounding.  I always knew in the back of my mind what was out there, what human beings were capable of pulling off, but until I saw it first hand, the whole picture was rather incomprehensible.  As I sit here in the NICU and look around, I am completely awestruck. Everywhere I glance, life seems to hang on by a thread.

In reality though, it is the hundreds of humming machines protecting these fragile and innocent lives, assisting their lungs so they can take another breath, helping their heart not to skip another beat, keeping them with us so that they might see tomorrow.  If I let them torment me, the numbers on the flat screen monitors give me the roller coaster ride of a lifetime.  When they are steady, some rare form of relaxation creeps over my body.  My son is stable.  He is asleep and at peace.  All is well.  Just seconds later, they rise and fall with the greatest of magnitude.  I stare, mouth slightly open, breath gone from my lungs and my stomach dropped to my feet.  All I can do is wonder...

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